The Jealchair Has Arrived

Let the ills of your genes match our wheels made of jeans with the timeless design of the first-ever Jealchair.

You asked for it, and you got it. The new all-denim motorized mobility device has hit the market, allowing trendy wheelchair users to ride in style and dazzle in a flappy contraption of tailored fabric.

Sitting at the intersection of fashion and mobility, the $32,000 device is a statement piece that says, “I may not be able to walk, but I am able to have a crush on Vanessa Hudgens in ‘High School Musical.’” It’s for the truckers, it’s for the gays, and it’s for the everyday wheelers who just want to roll the streets looking like a freshly pressed pair of Super Mario’s overalls.

The new line of chairs also has models in leopard print, flannel and ugly Christmas sweater, allowing for every disabled individual to express their true identity — as long as their true identity is tacky and aligns with one of those four patterns.

Whether you’re looking to cruise the runways of Paris or the narrow lanes of your grandpap’s cornfield, the Jealchair allows you to feel confident while doing it.

Did your less cool disabled friend Tiffany steal your boyfriend? Imagine the look on her face when you pull up in a brand new Jealchair with a sparkly, bedazzled base and ripped-headrest premium add-ons.

Do people often mistake you for a senior or, even worse, a child? The Jealchair screams, “I grew up in the early 2000s,” so you’ll never have that problem again.

Disability is not just a medical diagnosis. It’s a culture, it’s a lifestyle, and now it’s fashion, all because of the #Jealchair.


  1. First response was “ha ha ha,” second was “oh damn maybe I shouldn’t have ordered the ‘sugar plum’ coloured chair, even though it did seem best out of available options…” and third was “wooaah I actually just had a thought about fashion viz. my chair, as opposed to just ‘what would I not hate looking at every day—that’s amazing!!!” Now I’m just trying to come up with a new name in honour of “Canadian Tuxedo”…Canadian Throne? Canadian Hydro Chair???

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