Dr. Tom Schwartzman couldn’t believe it when his newest patient passed a kidney stone in less than 15 minutes. A veteran urologist with 22 years of experience, Schwartzman said this was a new record among the thousands of patients he has seen throughout his career.
“In all my years, I’ve never seen someone with as much fortitude and determination as this guy,” Schwartzman said during a phone interview. “I had just barely diagnosed him before he ejected the stone like it was nothing.”
The patient, Oliver Allen, said this wasn’t the first time he had passed a kidney stone without surgical intervention or medication. A wheelchair user who has Duchenne muscular dystrophy, he’s dealt with kidney stones since his sophomore year of college.
“The last one I had took me a few days to pass, but this time I was really pushing myself to pop this sucker out,” Allen said from his home in Brooklyn, New York. “I had a Tinder date that night, and I really didn’t want to be distracted by excruciating abdominal pain. If I could beat my own record, I figured I’d wear it like a badge of honor.”
Allen earned more than personal satisfaction, as Schwartzman felt compelled to recognize his star patient’s achievement. With the help of his staff, he built a personalized kidney stone-shaped sculpture to honor Allen.
“I just had to do something special for this guy. It’s not every day I get a patient with this kind of skill set.”
As he put the sculpture on display in his apartment, Allen said he hoped that his other specialists would be as cool as Schwartzman.
“I’m hoping that if I do well on my pulmonary function tests tomorrow, my pulmonologist will give me a new badass-looking nebulizer.”